I have a very limited & biased experience at my work
(business/professional activity) as I work part-time, on my own schedule for a
good family friend of mine. Therefore instead of reporting on a communication
event from work, I would like to report and share about two separate
communication events that I have witnessed/been a part of within the last 4
months. Both of these two events occurred when I have volunteered at a said
event of my home church.
I have been deeply involved, connected and attending my home church for more than 10 years. I absolutely love the place, location, environment, decisions, and the communications/relationships that I have been able to build over the years. My church is a megachurch, and being so allows us to have a large enough community of 18-25 year olds to maintain a young adult ministry. Although I am only a freshman in college and new to this ministry, I have already been placed in a position of leadership as I co-lead a small group of undergraduates.
One weekend early this past November, my co-leader was out-of-town and I was going to be leading the group solo. After a lot of preparation and studying before our group meeting, I felt fairly confident that we could have a few deep discussions about the topics at hand. Almost an hour and half into our two hour long meeting, slight tensions began to arise between two of my group members. We had just watched a 10 minute video and started discussing our thoughts on the video and if we agreed or not with the speaker. I knew two of my friends had conflicting personalities but I never thought I would see them play out as much as I did that evening.
Joe (pseudonym) has a very lackadaisical attitude. If he ever becomes frustrated or confused with something he is most likely to just forget about it than to understand. On the other hand, Jane (pseudonym) can get hot-headed, and her strong beliefs and passions on some topics can aggravate her when others don’t see things the same way as her. So naturally, as one might be able to tell, when Jane was trying hard to explain her views to Joe in our group discussion, Joe eventually said “I give up. You win.” Those trigger words led to an emotional explosion for Jane. In a matter of seconds our upbeat and interesting group discussion had turned into the end of battle in which both armies lost. Joe’s sarcastic tone of voice along with his word choice was simply a byproduct of his care-free and humoristic attitude. But since Jane was unaware of Joe’s personality, his surrendering statement was both disrespectful and embarrassing to her. Jane began to cry as she expressed how she thought Joe did not care for her thoughts at all. Joe completely in shock with all that happened, was at a loss for words. Thus leading to Jane storming out of the room and building to head home, leaving the moments that pursued, to take place in an awkwardness so intense it was nearly tangible.
As the group leader that night, I ashamedly testify that I witnessed the detailed discourse above take place with nearly no resolving action on my part. I knew Joe well enough to grasp his personality and understand his tone of voice however, I had no idea how little patient Jane could be and no idea that Jane could interpret Joe’s words as a trigger words. I was able to completely bandage both parties of the situation a few days later, however the argument that night was due to poor communication skills by both Joe and Jane. Joe’s bitingly sarcastic tone of voice was an issue of semantics, and poor communications. Jane was not able to interpret Joe’s words in the manner that he had uttered them. Joe, on the other hand did not utilize proper listening skills in order to try and comprehend Jane’s thoughts on the manner. Although this event did not transpire at a workplace similar events that also stem from poor communication skills do happen.
I have been deeply involved, connected and attending my home church for more than 10 years. I absolutely love the place, location, environment, decisions, and the communications/relationships that I have been able to build over the years. My church is a megachurch, and being so allows us to have a large enough community of 18-25 year olds to maintain a young adult ministry. Although I am only a freshman in college and new to this ministry, I have already been placed in a position of leadership as I co-lead a small group of undergraduates.
One weekend early this past November, my co-leader was out-of-town and I was going to be leading the group solo. After a lot of preparation and studying before our group meeting, I felt fairly confident that we could have a few deep discussions about the topics at hand. Almost an hour and half into our two hour long meeting, slight tensions began to arise between two of my group members. We had just watched a 10 minute video and started discussing our thoughts on the video and if we agreed or not with the speaker. I knew two of my friends had conflicting personalities but I never thought I would see them play out as much as I did that evening.
Joe (pseudonym) has a very lackadaisical attitude. If he ever becomes frustrated or confused with something he is most likely to just forget about it than to understand. On the other hand, Jane (pseudonym) can get hot-headed, and her strong beliefs and passions on some topics can aggravate her when others don’t see things the same way as her. So naturally, as one might be able to tell, when Jane was trying hard to explain her views to Joe in our group discussion, Joe eventually said “I give up. You win.” Those trigger words led to an emotional explosion for Jane. In a matter of seconds our upbeat and interesting group discussion had turned into the end of battle in which both armies lost. Joe’s sarcastic tone of voice along with his word choice was simply a byproduct of his care-free and humoristic attitude. But since Jane was unaware of Joe’s personality, his surrendering statement was both disrespectful and embarrassing to her. Jane began to cry as she expressed how she thought Joe did not care for her thoughts at all. Joe completely in shock with all that happened, was at a loss for words. Thus leading to Jane storming out of the room and building to head home, leaving the moments that pursued, to take place in an awkwardness so intense it was nearly tangible.
As the group leader that night, I ashamedly testify that I witnessed the detailed discourse above take place with nearly no resolving action on my part. I knew Joe well enough to grasp his personality and understand his tone of voice however, I had no idea how little patient Jane could be and no idea that Jane could interpret Joe’s words as a trigger words. I was able to completely bandage both parties of the situation a few days later, however the argument that night was due to poor communication skills by both Joe and Jane. Joe’s bitingly sarcastic tone of voice was an issue of semantics, and poor communications. Jane was not able to interpret Joe’s words in the manner that he had uttered them. Joe, on the other hand did not utilize proper listening skills in order to try and comprehend Jane’s thoughts on the manner. Although this event did not transpire at a workplace similar events that also stem from poor communication skills do happen.
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